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How to Be Intuitive? Identify that Way

April 2025

Winner

I have a family member who – when playing online games and having to name her avatar – identifies herself as ‘the winner’. It sounds terribly presumptuous, but the truth is, she wins a disproportionate number of games while holding that self-proclaimed title.

Perhaps she calls herself the winner in advance because she’s confident in her gaming abilities, and/or wishes to intimidate the other players with her boldness. However, this is the same person who has won more than a few times in my previous free monthly reading competitions.

With the online random selection method, she should have no advantage over anyone else who’s entered, nor could the other entrants have known who they were up against and how sure of winning that competitor was (submitting statements such as “I would love to win because … I feel like a winner!”). On one occasion, she was truly baffled about not having won the previous month’s freebie. I laughed and reminded her that other people enter these things too. Her reply was: “But I was so sure I would win!” And she did, the very next month.

It’s not as though we need to label ourselves as a winner to do well in games or competitions. But there is certainly power in how we identify ourselves.

Smoke

I still remember a conversation around 15 years ago with a couple of people who had resolved to give up smoking. We were eating lunch together when one admitted it was a real struggle to quit. The other said, “You need to see yourself as a non-smoker, not a smoker who’s trying to stop”.

She went on to explain that if the thought of having a cigarette arose, they could either dismiss it or – if they caved in – acknowledge they just had one cigarette, then return to being a non-smoker. She was convinced that if she saw herself as a smoker, she would continue to relapse because what does a smoker do? They suffer when abstaining from smoking and feel good when they do smoke. As far as I’m aware, she has remained a non-smoker.

Sugar

Quite recently, I had a similar turning point in how I relate to refined sugar. After years of denial, I came to accept that it’s not a matter of if, but more of when, where, and how badly my body will be negatively impacted by sugary junk food. There have been many rounds of attempted abstinence, then trying to moderate sugar intake, then rewarding myself for brief periods of restraint (the reward normally involving sugar, of course), and occasionally bingeing on sweet treats as an act of rebellion after my efforts. I set a New Year’s resolution one year to only have junk food at social events, maybe to indulge in some party food and cake at no more than a few birthday parties. But it didn’t take long to extend this social criterion to casual catch ups with friends, to visiting a relative, to being at home alone with a gift box of chocolates (with the justification that if someone else had given it to me, surely that could count as social, right?). Finally, I decided to identify myself differently.

In the past, I’d always described myself as having a “sweet tooth.” Now, I choose to see myself as someone who has no preference for sweet over savoury items. I’ll no longer consider myself good and virtuous when avoiding sugar because there’s nothing special about not eating what I don’t particularly want to eat. I’ll still consume sugar in fruits and other foods in its natural form, but no longer so much in its junky, refined form. It may sound like a form of self-delusion, but it feels more like a positive shift in my brain, having adopted new attitudes and a willingness to change how I normally identify in terms of my food preferences.

Very soon after this identity shift, someone offered me some of a vegan chocolate bar. I must have looked confused, as I stared at the bar but didn’t say yes to it. I was told that if I felt like eating it, I should allow myself to take it. That led to a surprising discovery – I actually didn’t feel like it! This realisation helped me to decline the offer, and I felt no deprivation whatsoever :)

Identity

The relevance of identity can be applied to anything in life.

If there’s something you want to do, notice if you identify as the sort of person who would do it.

Want to get fit? Then identify as someone who enjoys exercise.

Want to write a story? Then identify as a writer.

Want more motivation to prepare meals at home? Then identify as a good cook.

After all, a person who likes to exercise will find fun physical activities to engage in, thus improving their fitness level in the process.

A writer will schedule time each week to put pen to paper (or hands to the keyboard) until a story emerges.

A good cook will find or create recipes, buy ingredients, and prepare a tasty meal.

Intuitive

Do you identify as intuitive? Or do you ever say, “No, I don’t think I’m intuitive”, or “I’m not sure”, or “I probably could be, but I would need to practice or learn more about intuition first.”

No, no, no! If you want to be intuitive, identify that way: “I am intuitive.”

Then see what you’re led to do, what sort of guidance becomes available to you, what type of practices or courses or teachers you’re drawn to. Feel your way from there.

Everyone is naturally intuitive, as far as I’m concerned. Having worked with so many people during intuitive consults, I know that some feel their intuition is blocked at times, or they notice their rational mind tends to take over, or believe they have the potential to use their intuitive ability much more often than they currently do. Once they acknowledge that they are already intuitive, it becomes easier to move forward. Ideas flow forth about how to become unblocked. They no longer tolerate suppressing intuitive hunches in favour of their logical mind alone. They start to see the capacity for improvement as an exciting thing, rather than anything to be ashamed about.

You are intuitive, so own it.

You are also loveable, worthy, and capable of great things.

Call yourself what you want to be, identify that way, and watch the magic unfold from there.

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