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100% Yeses

January 2022

How often do you engage in something where you feel, “Yes! This is 100% what I want to be doing right now”? 

At those times, it’s as though your whole body, mind and spirit are on board. There’s no inner conflict. Whether it’s a hobby, eating a great meal, watching an exciting film, having a deep and meaningful conversation, or any activity you enjoy, there are likely to be several things that fit into that “100% yes” category for you. 

Compare that to occasions when you agree to do something and notice an inner knot or sense of discomfort. Like, “Yeah, I’ll go to that event and it should be okay, but wow my tummy feels heavy and nauseous when I think of going.” Or, “I’m so happy to be indulging in these tasty fries/ beers/ chocolates/ (insert your vice!) right now, but my brain won’t stop nagging me that I’m going to pay for this tomorrow.” It might also be more subtle, as when you spend time in a situation that you kind of like, but don’t love. None of these are 100% yeses. 

Last year, I made a decision to start choosing more 100% yeses in my life. In other words, to choose things or experiences based on whether I feel 100% willing and eager to have them.

Many things are obviously not a 100% yes. For example, I would not rate cooking as a 100% yes for me. Other people would. I had a friend at school with a passion for baking and whipping up all sorts of culinary delights. She was clear from an early age that she wanted to be a cook when she grew up, and she ended up leaving school at the age of 15 to become an apprentice chef. If someone had told her in the middle of preparing a dish, “Hey, let me take over, you deserve a break”, I’m sure she would have politely declined, since she enjoyed taking ownership of her dishes. I, on the other hand, would most probably jump at such an offer and respond with something like, “Oh wow, thank you!” while exiting the kitchen as quickly as possible. Although I admit that cooking can be fun occasionally, I would rate it as around a 50% yes for me, or even less.

Writing is an activity that people often have mixed feelings about. Countless amazing books have been created by authors who admit to feeling ambivalent or even hating the process of writing at times. Tony Robbins, for instance, has written bestselling books and expressed his desire to share knowledge through such works in order to help others lead more fulfilling lives. He has also admitted that although the outcome may have been worth it, writing is a solitary endeavour that requires sitting still for long periods of time, which he does not find particularly enjoyable. In contrast, he has shared that he loves being out and about, actively engaging with people directly. After I was encouraged to hire an editor for the book that eventually became Channel, I was surprised when this editor offered to conduct an interview with me so he could write the content for my book from the recording that would be made. When I expressed confusion about this, he explained that he had worked as a ghost writer, and many books are not actually written by the authors whose name appear on the cover. But he reassured me that I was free to write my own book if I wanted to. Yes of course I wanted to! Writing is a 100% yes for me. Just as my school friend wouldn’t have wanted anyone to mess with whatever dish she was preparing, I did not want anyone else writing books for me. 

Most of us (probably all of us) don’t have the luxury of choosing 100% yeses for everything. For instance, my home needs to be cleaned every now and then. It’s true that such things can be delegated to others, especially if you’re willing to pay someone else to do it, but in the midst of a pandemic I’d rather not hire or convince another person to clean for me. And while it’s something I would prefer not to do, there are things I can tweak to make the experience more bearable, such as by turning on some upbeat music to play in the background while the chores are being done. As stated in the Mary Poppins movie by the main character, Ms Poppins herself: “In every job that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun and – snap! – the job’s a game!” And by doing so, you might move an otherwise 0% yes job much higher on the 0-100 scale.  

Quirky Yeses

We are all unique and so our 100% yeses will be too. You may find that some of your 100% yeses are a little quirky, things that might baffle others. 

I think it’s kind of weird that people enjoy driving. To me, driving feels like a stressful chore, but for at least a few of my friends it’s the most wonderful, freeing thing in the world. I feel a much greater sense of freedom on public transport – free to look out the window at the scenery outside, free to read an interesting book, free to check my email or zone out if I want to. All of those things would be really dangerous behind the wheel of a car. However, most people are amused and confused about my love for public buses and trains and any other type of transport, especially when I tell them that the higher up and the further back I can sit, the better. Being seated in the back row of the top level of a train is a 100% yes for me, and settling in to the back of an airplane is absolute bliss! 

Going back to the topic of cleaning, I was in a workshop once where all participants had to list activities that were nourishing or relaxing. One lady announced that she found it nourishing to clean things. In response to the gasps of disbelief that followed, she shared that cleaning was a really soothing, therapeutic experience for her. And to be honest, there have been times when I’ve actually enjoyed cleaning something, and watching with satisfaction as the dirt and grime was wiped away to reveal a smooth shiny surface underneath. 

Not only do our 100% yeses differ to those of other people, they are also likely to change for ourselves over time. An obvious example is in the area of relationships. There are probably friends who you once felt a 100% yes about spending time with, who you eventually drifted away from. You may have had ideas for your career that once seemed totally aligned with your higher aspirations, but that later lost appeal or were replaced with something better. 

The more you can stay in touch with your intuition and what’s true for you each moment, the more confident you’ll be about what your current 100% yeses are, and the more you can start filling your life with the things, activities, and people you love.  

Wanting vs. Knowing

Wanting something to be a 100% yes is not the same as a 100% yes. In the relationship example, wanting to be in love with your childhood sweetheart again does not mean you’re still in love (I do believe it’s possible to rekindle a relationship after falling out of love, but that it’s more likely to happen if we’re honest about how we feel right now). 

I remember going to a job interview that I was excited about, as it ticked all the boxes for what I thought would be great in a work role. Upon arriving for the interview, the receptionist asked me to wait near the staffroom while the interview panel was getting ready. It gave me a chance to stop and look around and notice how I felt. And there was a very clear feeling that this place was not for me, and I was not for it. “No, no, no!” my mind protested. Now that I was this far, I really wanted to want the job! I wanted to convince myself that it would be perfect for me. At the very least, I wanted to wait until the job interview was over before being hit with this realisation. After all, there’s nothing more awkward than being asked, “So why do you want this job?” when it’s clear you no longer want the job. 

But my body knew and my mind reluctantly knew that I no longer wanted the job. There was nothing dark or sinister about the environment or the staff who walked past me, going about their work. It was just not a yes, not even a 50% yes, even though I wished it was. And when it was confirmed that I didn’t get the role, as I suspected I wouldn’t, the massive sense of relief that followed was confirmation that it wasn’t a yes. And later on, I commenced work that was a real yes, work that I would never have started had I settled for something else. 

Integrity

A few days ago, I came across the concept of a “whole body yes” while reading The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Warner Klemp (2014). This is pretty much the same as a 100% yes, as it’s defined as “a total and unequivocal YES, with your mind, emotions, will, and body.” According to the authors, leaders in a work meeting will often give “the corporate nod”, indicating yes but actually meaning something else such as, “I don’t really want to do that, but I can’t say so in this meeting” or “I have no intention of doing that, but no one will ever follow up” or “Sure, I’ll do it if I get to it, but I have a lot to do and this will fall low on my priority list.” How often have we done that in our own lives, whether or not we’re leaders or work in a corporate setting? How often have we said yes when we don’t actually feel that it’s a yes? 

In another section of the book, the issue of integrity and energy management is addressed. An essential aspect of integrity relates to “impeccable agreements”. Apparently, any time we break an agreement (even if it’s with ourselves), it interrupts or blocks the flow of our energy. Even though it can be healthy to renegotiate or drop a commitment if we no longer feel able or willing to stick to it, the fact remains that whether an agreement is very small (e.g., “I’ll post your letter today in the mailbox) or a big one (e.g., “I will marry you this year”), breaking that agreement is still a breach of integrity. 

The analogy of electricity and Christmas tree lights is used by Dethmer, Chapman and Klemp to explain how an integrity breach can affect all of our energy in all contexts, not just in the particular situation or relationship in which we haven’t kept an agreement:  

 “Many of us have had the experience of hanging a string of lights on a tree, plugging them in with great expectation only to have them remain unlit. At that point, the long and tedious process of checking each bulb on the strand begins. Once the offending bulb is located and tightened or replaced, electricity is free to circulate through the string, and the lights sparkle. Energy works in a similar way. One integrity breach interrupts the flow of life force, although in our case, the light of the life force dims without completely going out.”

The issue here is not so much about forever sticking to an agreement that makes you or others miserable, or just feels wrong. It’s about what you choose to agree to in the first place. We’re much more likely to break an agreement if we commit to anything less than a “whole body yes”.

The author Gay Hendricks states that integrity can be thought of as a physics issue rather than a moral one. In the book The Big Leap, he writes that the most common integrity breaches are “lies, broken agreements, and withheld truths.” He suggests that this isn’t about being good or bad, it’s about aiming to be “whole and complete”, because being out of integrity can be seen as a “breach in your wholeness.” Saying yes to what we really want – and being consistently honest with ourselves and others about that – is conducive to having a healthy flow of energy, or to use the Christmas lights metaphor, for our light to “sparkle”.  

The importance of integrity in keeping our energy whole, flowing and clear is echoed by the healer Barbara Brennan, who wrote in her book Light Emerging, the Journey of Personal Healing: “The more honest you are with yourself, the clearer your channel will be.” 

2022 Chakra Consultations

Speaking of energy, when I first began doing intuitive readings in late 2013, I totally fell in love with the initial chakra reading part. It was only meant as a validation tool, a way to tune in and describe the seven major energy centres in order to describe the areas of life that these correspond to (finances, creativity/emotions/passion, confidence, compassion, communication, intuition and spirituality). By doing this, people could trust whatever subsequent messages came through, some of which were more abstract or harder to validate straight away. 

The majority of feedback I got from people was that these chakra readings were very accurate, and sometimes even the most enjoyable part of the whole reading for them. I found it fascinating that it was possible to see and feel such intimate aspects of a person’s life from simply tuning in to their energy. 

My intuitive trainer believed that any impressions and messages received about a person’s chakras could be attributed to that person’s guides passing along the information. I wasn’t convinced of that explanation back then, and I’m still not sure how it all works. As I’ve admitted in a previous article, I don’t consider myself to be a chakra expert per se in terms of theory or understanding, but I know enough to give a good chakra reading, and am experienced enough to interpret and clearly communicate what I see, in a way that’s been described as practical and helpful. 

Although I was trained to spend only a couple of minutes on the chakras during a reading, it’s interesting that ever since I began offering intuitive services professionally, many people have asked to spend longer discussing the chakras and asking questions about what can be done energetically to affect various areas of their life. 

Earlier this month I began to wonder, what if we could spend a whole session focused on the chakras? I did offer a chakra consultation a few years ago, as it was one of the prizes during a pre-order competition for Channel. It was enjoyable but just a one-off that I didn’t think to continue as an ongoing option. 

It reminds me a little bit of getting a Thai massage. You get pushed and pulled and prodded all over your body, but at some point, for a very brief period, you typically get a scalp massage. Those scalp massages are my favourite part of the session and just seem ridiculously short. I’ve often pondered whether there’s some way of arranging to have a scalp massage for the entire time. I have attempted to communicate that kind of request before, but many massage therapists seem reluctant to focus on one part of the body for a significant period of time, unless it’s the feet for a reflexology session. Maybe it’s boring for them to massage someone’s scalp for that long, or maybe they just see it as better for the client to have a more well-rounded massage. Maybe I just need to be more assertive! 

In any case, what if the chakra discussion is your favourite part of having an intuitive consultation? Chakra tune-ins have always seemed a little like icing on a cake, or a means to an end – if you trust what I see about your chakras, then you might trust me enough to ask for insight and guidance on other important matters of your life. I’d always assumed that it was those subsequent questions that were the most essential part of a reading or consultation. They were the bulk of the cake, so to speak. But what if there was an option to just delve into your energy, to get clarity on what’s working well and where the areas for improvement are, and how to strengthen those areas? To me, it sounds like a deliciously fun idea – almost decadent! – to indulge in a playful discovery of what can be revealed by tuning in to your chakras, without rushing to something else. Perhaps such an exploration of energy can be worthwhile in itself, rather than a means to an end.  

There are a lot of things out there that we have little control over, but to get greater clarity and work on our own chakras is within our power to do now. Our energy absolutely affects the quality of our health, work and relationships. We can take ownership of it right away, without having to wait for some external circumstance or person to make things better (haven’t we all fallen into that trap before?). In that sense, a chakra consultation could be considered potentially life-changing, just as much as any other intuitive consultation. 

So, I’ve decided to offer chakra consultations for at least the next couple of months this year. These are one-off appointments that don’t need to be part of any other course or package. Unlike other types of consultations where there can be a real benefit in having more than one (e.g., for accountability, follow-up of specific action steps between sessions, and to build up momentum), I believe that a chakra consultation can be beneficial as a standalone session. 

There’s also going to be the option to book for a couple or small group of people – no more than 5 per call. Obviously, the more people there are, the less time and depth we can go into for each person. The benefit is that it’s great practice to tune in to someone else’s chakras with their permission, and to compare what you see with what the other person is actually experiencing (and with what the intuitive describes).  Having a group format allows you to receive instant feedback about accuracy, in a way that’s difficult to do on your own. Be warned that very personal information is often revealed during a chakra tune-in, so make sure that you’re comfortable with whoever else you’re planning to book with! 

Each consultation will start and finish with a short chakra meditation, and you’ll be invited to join in to the tune-in and exploration process with me, just like for my other intuitive consultations. It’s not going to be a passive type of psychic reading. We’ll cover each of the major chakras and the life areas associated with them, and discuss any action steps to take, if any, to help balance your energy, build on strengths and/or address any energetic weaknesses. Some people have mentioned to me that just by holding a certain awareness of their chakras during an intuitive consultation, they felt it had a therapeutic or healing effect on their energy, even though that wasn’t their reason for booking a session. 

Is this new offering a 100% yes for me? I’m not sure yet, but it’s definitely a yes of some sort! Time will tell if it’s something I want to continue beyond a couple of months.  

Listing Yeses

Whatever your 100% yeses are, it might be worth writing a list of them and then creating a schedule to do each item regularly. I did this last year, and enjoy at least one thing on the list every day.  

And if you feel a 100% yes to having a chakra consultation, you can book one by clicking here.


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