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Law of Opposites

January 2019

Happy New Year! I hope 2019 has been treating you well so far.

In the last email update, I shared that the free monthly 30-minute consultations were coming to a close in December, as I had originally announced that they would only continue until the end of 2018.

For 2019, there will again be an opportunity to enter your name for your chance to win a monthly freebie, this time an intuitive message via email.

To enter, please send me your name and finish off the sentence, “I would love to win an email intuitive message because …”

As was the case for previous free email readings and intuitive consultations, the winner for each month will be selected using an online random selection tool.

New Archives Page

In other news, I’m currently in the process of adding all my older monthly articles (previously only shared through email updates) to a new ‘Archives’ section on my website.

Adding this content has been on my to-do list for a while, and after being asked a few times late last year about how to access my previous updates/articles, I decided to get going and just do it. So far, all of the 2014 to 2016 articles have been added, so I’m over halfway there!

Please note that not all content will be shared in these archives. For example, the many names and locations of people who have won past readings and consultations, and who agreed to share their details in the monthly email newsletter, will not be added to the website. There were also some bits and pieces from previous updates that I felt were too personal or no longer relevant (such as invites to local events, opening nights, various special bonuses, etc) which I chose not to include. These sorts of details will continue to only be shared via email to those of you who have signed up for updates.

While going through my old articles from years ago, I came across one that I’d written back in 2014 but never sent out. After reading through this article which I had completely forgotten about, I saw a note at the bottom which reminded me of my decision to only share it if and when I felt that the situation I’d been struggling with at the time (which was relevant to what was covered in the article) ended up turning out okay … which it now has! So the timing feels right to share this article now:


Law of Opposites

Most people have heard of the law of attraction. It refers to the theory that you attract in life what you most often think about and focus on. Like attracts like, and so your energy will attract events, situations, and people with a similar energy that resonates with your own (otherwise called a 'vibrational match').

What about the law of opposites, though? I learnt about this law while reading a book called Happier Than God by Neale Donald Walsch.

In the book, it states that the law of opposites is actually a necessary part of attracting and appreciating what you choose in life. Apparently, there's method to this law-of-opposites madness. If you believe that you can create your reality to some extent, then it's feasible that when you choose to experience something, you call upon yourself the best conditions possible by which you can enjoy and appreciate that thing. While it may seem counterintuitive, these ‘best conditions’ may very well appear to be the opposite of what you’ve asked for at first.

Take the example of light. Would you notice the light of a candle in the middle of a massive bonfire? Even without the bonfire, would the candle light be very obvious if it were placed outside in the middle of a sunny day?

If you really, really, wanted to enjoy candle light, the first thing to do would be to make sure it's as dark as possible. Wait until night time and turn all the lights off in your home, because the darker the better. Then light the candle, and wow! Something that was almost invisible during the day is now so bright it can light up a whole room. The candlelight would certainly be noticeable now, but its opposite (the darkness) was necessary first.

From Lukewarm to Intense Appreciation

By facing the opposite of what we actually want, it creates a context that helps to fully and intensely appreciate the experience we originally intended to attract to ourselves (assuming that it does eventually show up for us). This appreciation is usually much greater than it would be if we had never had to struggle through the experience of its opposite, in which case we would be more likely to take it for granted, and our feelings towards it would probably be lukewarm in comparison.

This principle can be extended beyond the candle example to countless other situations. Just as you need to create an environment of darkness in order to enjoy the intensity and light of a candle flame, you may also unconsciously:

          Experience a few crappy relationships before you can really appreciate a happy and loving one.

          Move frequently from place to place before feeling true gratitude when you eventually find a stable home to live in on a long-term basis.

          Get very sick before making a full recovery, so that you no longer take your health or vitality for granted (perhaps ending up even stronger than before as a result).

The law of opposites can serve to improve empathy as well. When I was about 12 years old and playing a game of blind-man's buff with some other kids at home, there was one point at which everyone ran together in the same direction over to my bedroom. They then proceeded to jump onto my mattress as a place to escape from the blindfolded kid in the game. I'd recently had an eye infection and wasn't happy at the sight of multiple feet stomping all over my pillow! I called out, “Can you get off my bed? I’ve just had conjunctivitis”. Most of the kids didn't really care but one of them gasped and yelled to the others, “Quick, get off her bed!” I found out later that he too had experienced conjunctivitis recently – which meant he completely understood the importance of having a clean pillowcase to lie on, and he fully appreciated the value of having healthy pain-free eyes after suffering the discomfort of conjunctivitis.

As another example, consider someone who's just been offered a great new job while he's still quite comfortable, content, and well-paid in his current one. He may not feel very strongly about the offer – he could take it or leave it. No big deal either way. Now imagine another person who's been searching for a job for months or years, and is suddenly offered the job of his dreams. How's he going to feel? Amazing, most likely! Having been jobless for so long, he'll fully appreciate the experience of working in a position he enjoys, and is also likely to empathise with others who are continuing to seek employment.

The same principle can apply to any other areas of life, such as finances, mental health, freedom, adventure, and so on.

Gratitude and Keeping the Faith

If we accept that there may be a law of opposites in addition to the law of attraction, it’s fair to ask, How far does this thing have to go?

Do we really need to go broke or bankrupt to enjoy abundance in the future? To be trapped or imprisoned in order to genuinely take delight in freedom? Or to wallow in misery for decades before we can feel joy? How long must we wait or suffer before we can enjoy what we want?

According to Neale Donald Walsh, it all depends on whether we have an awareness of what's happening and how we respond to it when we do understand what’s going on.

If you suspect that the law of opposites is currently at work in your life, then the response that's recommended is one of gratitude. Shifting from frustration to being grateful can create a big shift in our attitude and energy, plus there's a certain surrender and calmness that tends to follow. Resentment of our circumstances, on the other hand, leads to tension and a negative spiral of thinking that's hard to get out of.

What about when we know what's going on, and the conditions are perfect for us to move onto another stage where we can fully experience what we want, but we just don't have faith that the next stage of the process will come about? What if it's really dark and we can't find the candle?

I believe it all boils down to trusting the process, being grateful for the context our experiences have created, and allowing gratitude to shift our energy to match what we've been really asking for all along. Then stay open to that next stage and keep having faith that it will show up.


At the time of writing the article above, I had decided to try this approach of trusting in my own life. I had read about the law of opposites one week beforehand, on the same day that I’d had a bit of a meltdown which was triggered by various events related to a particular area of my life. The challenges I’d been facing were greater than I’d anticipated. The more overwhelmed I became, the fuzzier my brain felt and the less effective I was in doing anything to change the situation. I was spending every waking hour worrying about it, and with nothing to show for all that time. I was reading about this seemingly strange law with tears streaming down my face.

The law of opposites gave me a glimmer of hope – hadn't I asked for the exact opposite of what I was now experiencing? What better way to appreciate the things I’d intended for, as long as I kept the faith that those things would eventually turn up in my life? I also felt more understanding and empathy for people in a similar situation to my own.

The original article actually ended with this note: “I'm leaving the story here for now. I'll practice gratitude and see what happens. I'll eagerly anticipate the next stage of this process – the energy of attraction (actually getting what I've asked for) – after having experienced the opposite. I'm hoping this story will have a happy ending.” Five years on, I can say that it definitely has.

If you’re currently going through a difficult time, I hope that this concept of the law of opposites may help to see things in a new or more hopeful light. Even if the situation you’re facing is unlikely to change (as in the case of having lost a loved one, or facing terminal illness), there may be ways in which more appreciation can be felt in other areas of life, or ways to reach out and relate to others who are going through similar challenges to yours, in a way that feels rewarding or meaningful for you.

May any darkness you’re experiencing create the space for your brightest dreams to manifest and shine.

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