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Prioritising Joy

August 2025

Happiness and Joy

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with the study of happiness and joy, seeking answers to questions such as: What activities are associated with these positive states? What prevents them? How do we cultivate them, so they are more consistently maintained?

While my focus in life may appear to be primarily on intuition, that’s mainly because I’ve found it to be a fantastic tool for living a happier life. I’ve written a fair few articles on the topic, dedicated a whole chapter in the book Channel to cover strategies for lifting mood, and another chapter about joy in my subsequent book You Crazy Vegan.

Happiness and joy are often – but not always – considered to be synonymous with one another. Some describe happiness as an uplifting emotion caused by outer circumstances, whereas joy is believed to arise from the inside, independent of anything on the outside. However, it’s common to hear people say they occasionally feel happy for no good reason, or experience joy after a pleasant external event occurs. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll use the words happiness and joy interchangeably to mean the same thing.

Number One

I once assumed that everyone was as keen as I was to learn about happiness and joy, but over time it’s become clear that just because everyone wants to feel these things, it doesn’t mean they want to study them or even to prioritise them.

Many decide to make other values a priority, such as adventure, family, romance, creative projects, etc. – all of which may lead to happiness but cannot guarantee it. During my childhood years, I remember how my dad couldn’t see eye to eye with me on what mattered most, specifically when choosing what I wanted to be when I grew up. I aspired to find a job and lifestyle that would make me happy. Dad insisted that my aim should be to make as much money as possible so I could be safe and secure, then the issue of happiness could be taken care of later.

At school, my classmates and I were once asked to list our top values before choosing a number one priority, then share this with another person. I told the girl next to me that my number one priority was happiness. Her number one was health, with the reasoning that “you need good health to be happy.” I wasn’t convinced, having gone through phases of being physically fit but emotionally miserable, then other times when I’d been bedbound due to illness but happy regardless (courtesy of the care provided by others who fed me, kept me warm, gave me medicine and made me laugh). If the goal of good health is to be happy, I wondered aloud, then maybe happiness was the real number one priority for her too? My friend said no, she would prefer to be healthy and unhappy rather than happy but unhealthy.

Lots of people say that happiness is not even a value, but rather a feeling that arises when you live by your values. It reminds me of when someone says their favourite colour is white, then gets the response, “but white isn’t a real colour!” Yet, we all know what you mean if you say your favourite colour is white, and we all understand that you value joy highly if it’s your number one priority.

Nonetheless, I bought into the theory for a long time that happiness and joy are not real values, and so I would make choices based on other decision-making criteria rather than choose the most joyful path. In other words, while I may have liked the idea of choosing happiness no matter what, I haven’t always practiced making my emotional wellbeing a number one priority.

Revisiting the Law of Attraction

It was during a particularly dark night of the soul last year when I made a conscious commitment (or re-commitment) to prioritise joy. A few situations had spiralled out of control, and I was tired of the default state of worry and survival mode I’d fallen into.

The very next morning, I received an email from a woman I’d met only once several years earlier, asking if I’d like to join a course over the coming weeks with a focus on manifesting joy. The timing of the course coincided with another commitment, but I was so intrigued by the synchronicity of the invite that I rearranged everything else so I could attend.

During the course I learnt more about quantum physics, as well as the teachings of Abraham as shared through a couple named Esther and Jerry Hicks. Although I’d heard about the law of attraction before (who hasn’t?), it was often in the context of people wanting to create lives of material abundance – mansions, cars, luxurious holidays, etc. – through the power of thought and changing their energetic vibration. I had never read about the law of attraction directly from the couple who were famous for popularising it throughout the world. 

My only memory of the Hicks was from many years prior, when I saw one of their books at a new age store. I took little interest in the book itself, but noticed the words on the front cover, “Ask and It Is Given”, as it was very similar to the title of a manuscript I was writing at the time, which was “Ask and Be Guided”. After resigning myself to the fact that I would need to rename my work (it would eventually evolve to become Channel), I moved on to browse other things in the store and forgot all about Esther and Jerry Hicks. 

When I eventually listened to their work in the form of audiobooks, it became obvious that the law of attraction is not just about having wonderful material goodies flow into our lives. The focus really is on feeling wonderful through emotions like joy, appreciation, and love. By being in that high-vibration state, we will either attract the physical things we want more easily, or we’ll be so happy that we won’t even care whether those things show up in our lives or not.

Tough Times

Despite my earlier arguments with school friends about happiness being as important as health (or more so), one of my greatest challenges in the quest to remain joyful has been dealing with physical health problems, especially when suffered by people I love.   

For most of my life, I’ve accepted that sudden or serious health crises should naturally evoke feelings of panic and overwhelm. It has only really been during the past year that I’ve questioned whether that could ever change. I started to experiment with ways to manage my mental state even amongst intense and stressful circumstances, noticing small but steady improvements along the way.

This month, after writing my draft article for August on joy, I had to take part in an urgent decision-making process in what was to be literally a life-or-death situation for a family member. It was an unforeseen physical emergency that I did not feel prepared for, and those familiar feelings of panic and overwhelm rose up again. Yet, something interesting happened.

In the hours before, during, and after the emergency, I experienced an occasional wave of joy sweep through my body. It certainly wasn’t related to any outer factors in that current situation, and on a rational level I thought it was kind of inappropriate. At the same time, those waves felt truly natural and right. It was as though by practicing and cultivating joy over the previous months, even the most hideous situation was not enough to suppress it completely.

In the weeks that followed, there were times when I lost all sense of happiness and joy, so I turned to my intuition for guidance. How can one prioritise joy during tough times? Or is it insensitive or unwise to do so?

Prioritising Joy

What I felt was that it’s totally fine – better than fine – to try to prioritise joy during challenging moments. By doing this, we can more easily stay aligned with our higher selves and be in a stronger position to help others we care about as well.

In terms of how to prioritise joy, the intuitive answers I received were as follows:

1)    First, focus on existing tangible things, however small, that bring about a sense of joy based on our own unique tastes and preferences. Our physical senses allow endless opportunities for little occasions of joy. We can savour a yummy treat, smell a flower or scented candle, gaze at a beautiful photo, have a warm bath or shower, etc.

2)    Envision or create things that are not yet in our existence, but that may arouse a sense of joy when we imagine them (such as through the act of visualising) or by bringing them into being (by making some art, for example, or booking a holiday to move it from the realm of wishful thinking to reality).

3)    Nurture a sense of spiritual connection by whatever method works, such as through prayer, reading inspiring material, or meditation. This doesn’t fall into the category of physical things – though sometimes the light of spirit can feel as tangible as the heat of sunshine on one’s skin – nor is it creating or envisioning something we want to happen. It’s there already, and it can bring about an inherent sense of joy. 

Last weekend I chose to spend time envisioning, meditating, and indulging in a spa treatment at a place I’d never been before, in honour of my commitment to prioritise joy. At the end of the session, the therapist fanned out several affirmation cards in front of me. After I picked one, she asked me to turn it over and read the affirmation. The message on the back was: “Joy looks great on you.”

If it feels right, maybe have a go at doing one, two, or all three of the steps above to feel more joy. Even if it’s not your number one priority, you could pick a particular day or two over the coming month to base every single decision on your answers to this question: “What feels most joyful now?”

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